Whether to date your best friend or not is a decision that makes most people freak out! As we know, romantic feelings can develop after friendship and when you think about it, what a great start. They say the basis of any lasting romance is friendship. It’s what keeps people in love even when that exciting initial spark dissipates. If you’re thinking of dating your best guy friend or girlfriend, the major cause of concern is losing the friendship if things don’t work out. This fear is valid but there is also the risk of missing out on love. Instead of constantly wondering if you should date your best friend, let’s go over how to handle the situation.
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So, dating your friend has been on your mind for a while but you’re still on the fence. Below are 5 signs that you should give it a try:
Your friend fulfills many aspects of having a significant other. It is hard finding someone that fulfills you. If you haven’t felt the need to find a partner because the friendship was enough, your friend may be the person for you.
You’ve never set them up. Perhaps you wanted your friend to yourself all this time. People tend to avoid situations that could spark jealousy.
He/she understands you like no one else. It is hard finding someone who knows when something is bothering you, how to cheer you up or just understands your sense of humor.
The friendship has affected past relationships. You may know this issue all too well. Your exes had a problem with you and your friend hanging out so often, you reassured, arguments ensued and those relationships ended soon after.
The physical attraction has always been there. Friendship and physical attraction sound like relationship potential. Don’t you think?
Although there’s no definitive answer to whether you should date your best friend, you can’t ignore your feelings. Sometimes an undeniable attraction develops out of the blue while others temporarily experience romantic feelings for a friend during a vulnerable time like after a breakup. Before addressing them, give it some time. If the feelings do not fade and you would genuinely like to pursue a relationship, see if he/she is interested. This is your friend so have a conversation when the two of you are alone. Try starting with, “I think I like you more than a friend. What do you think about seeing where this can go?” Alternatively, you can take the less direct approach by using playful flirtation to feel out the situation, casually bringing up the topic of going out, and testing the touch barrier. Either way, you must express your feelings at some point and ask if they would like to explore the possibility. If yes, go for it. As for those who get a no, don’t be weird. Instead, focus on moving forward to re-establish that friendship dynamic. It will blow over with time.
After romantic feelings come into play, people tend to get awkward, like they don’t know how to act around each other anymore. Relax so nerves don’t get the best of you and just be yourself. There is no doubt about he or she liking you so there’s no need to worry.
Go Slow and Steady
One on the list of dating your best friend quotes that sum up the start of a possible relationship is, “Good habits die hard”. Therefore, don’t expect things to change immediately. The transition happens gradually as basic friend habits evolve into more romantic ones. You should start going on dates, becoming more affectionate and verbalizing your interest on a consistent basis. If things are going in the right direction, he/she will reciprocate and the romance will progress. Keep in mind that there will be moments of awkwardness and even laughter simply because dating never seemed in the cards. Although odd, it’s great having that lightheartedness and familiarity at the same time. Use it to your advantage.
Skip the Formalities
A major plus of dating a friend is already knowing each other’s likes, dislikes, interests and what you have in common. You get to skip that and get to the fun stuff! When you’re dating your friend you’ll find that your behaviors sync and you can talk about almost anything. In other words, dating is much easier. Just enjoy each other’s company in a new way to build a foundation for a meaningful relationship. When the situation is right, everything falls into place. Once you start to act like a couple and less like friends, there is also the benefit of less confusion.
Go All In
When you have both gotten used to the idea of dating and have started acting like a couple rather than friends, go all in and make it exclusive. Of course, a conversation is required before but if all is going well and you are both happy, why not?
Things to Consider When You Date Your Best Friend
It May Not Work Out
Yeah, you may not find love but who cares? Wouldn’t you rather try than always have that question in the back of your mind? The important thing is handling it like adults. Just because a romance wasn’t in the cards doesn’t mean the friendship is over. Take time away from each other if needed, sort out any emotions, reconnect and slowly start hanging out again. True friendships will survive a romance attempt.
Deciding if you should date your best friend and then taking that risk is all you need to worry about. Welcoming third parties tend to complicate things and can make the relationship more difficult. The only time to share the news is when you become exclusive. This also includes family members who may have wanted you two together for years.
Be Careful Being Physical
It is a big step and is kind of weird when the person you’re being physical with is your friend. Additionally, intimacy involves revealing another side of yourself. It’s a lot to take in so go slow.
All in all, is it a good idea to date your best friend? Maybe. The deciding factors are an attraction, feelings and of course, whether those feelings are mutual.